Top 10 Things Not to Do When Filing for Divorce

The divorce process can be lengthy, complicated, and fraught with painful negotiations. As such, it's understandable that many people make mistakes when they file for divorce. If your family is facing the prospect of legal separation, make sure to avoid these pitfalls:

1. Lie or Seek Revenge

It’s a good idea to avoid dishonesty in all aspects of your divorce proceedings, whether it’s to your ex, your kids, or your lawyer. Revenge can work against you, too. If the court finds out, they will consider that behavior when making rulings.

2. Grow Too Close with Your Lawyer

While your lawyer may feel like your closest friend and confidant during this tough time, avoid taking your relationship too far. Any relationship beyond friendship can lead to too many complications, and it’s against the Model Rules of Professional Conduct set by the courts for legal professionals in Colorado

3. Have Unrealistic Expectations

Never go into a divorce expecting a windfall, whether from child support or otherwise. In many cases, your standard of living will be lower after a divorce since your joint assets must be divided between the two of you. Plus, in Colorado, only the assets earned during the marriage are up for division anyway.

4. Badmouth Your Ex

While it may be difficult to hold in your feelings of anger or betrayal, resist the urge to badmouth your ex, especially to your kids. Likewise, try to avoid accusing them on social media. It's always smart to keep your feelings to yourself when it comes to divorce—as they say, whatever you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

5. Have Another Child

Having an additional child right away will only complicate your divorce proceedings, whether with your ex or someone else. Even if you're hoping to expand your family soon, it's best to refrain from doing so at least until the divorce proceedings are over.

6. Hide or Spend Assets

This is one of the most common mistakes people make during a divorce. While it may be tempting to hide or spend your assets to prevent their division, you’ll be in trouble if the court finds out.

7. Avoid Mediation Out of Court

Even if there’s bad blood between you, it’s always worth considering mediation out of court. In court, you’ll be at the mercy of family laws and any other court orders enacted against you. Not to mention divorce court is expensive! A mediator may be able to help you come to a fair conclusion faster and cheaper than the court ever could.

8. Forget to Revise Your Will

When the divorce proceedings are over, make sure to revise your will to suit your new arrangements. For example, if you and your ex parted on negative terms, it might make sense to write them out of your will entirely.

9. Pursue a New Relationship Right Away

While it may be tempting to find someone new to lean on right away, try to avoid doing so. Right now, it’s important to take care of yourself and rediscover your singular identity.

10. Intentionally Make Things Complicated

It may be tempting to fight with your ex just for the sake of fighting or “getting back” at them. However, chances are that you'll regret a lot of that down the road, especially if it involves your children. Try to be compassionate for the sake of everyone involved.

If you need help navigating your divorce proceedings, you can count on our experienced team at McCoy Family Law for help. Contact us at (720) 460-9193 or fill out our online contact form to set up your free consultation today.

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